Sad

Sadly, I just learned that a super nice young man that I worked with at the store took his own life 2 days ago. It turns out he was suffering from depression and had just come home from school (BYU I think) due to the depression. It is so TRAGIC. It just breaks my heart that he felt so desperate & helpless that he saw suicide as his only option. This kid was bright, and kind, and I think had plans to serve a mission soon. Satan just never rests, does he? We must not let him take control! It is very saddening to me that he grabs a hold of so many and causes such feelings of desperation and helplessness. I'm very thankful for the opportunity to listen to our Prophet and those who serve with him this weekend to gather some strength and enlightenment and to help build up in a world where so often we are being torn down and torn apart.

Good things...

I took the boys to the park the other day (while someone came to look at the house)and we decided that the weather was just perfect for kite-flying! I was so impressed with how well all of the boys did! I only had to get Paul's kite UP and he took it from there with no mishaps or down falls! Drew and Nick's kites fell a few times but as soon as I got them back up the boys took complete control! In fact, a few times the little ones even got their OWN kites up with no help! It was a lot of fun. I wish I had taken pictures, but I forgot to bring the camera, and Josh has been out of town this week with work, so I didn't have that extra set of hands to help anyway. Thankfully he will be home late tonight. We miss him!

Yesterday we tried making snow cones. See, Nick's "flavor" for his medicine is just snow cone syrup, and the other day at the store I picked up a few more bottles since it's cheaper than at the pharmacy. Well, they had some inexpensive snow cone machines right there too, and I thought 'Hey, why not have some fun?', and bought one of those too. The kids had some friends over and we decided to give it a shot. The machine didn't work all that well, but enough to get some snow. They thought it was amazing. I remember in my childhood having a snow cone machine that you had to kind of hand-churn to get the ice chips, but this one was a plug-it-in and press-this-down kind of machine. I remember thinking how cool it was when I was little and am pleased to know that the thrill is still there. Watch out Josh, I also remember easy-bake ovens.... and even though we don't have any girls..... I may need to enlighten the boys on the fun of cooking with a light bulb. LOL




Also, Dr. Cowley called yesterday and asked if he could have our permission to send Nick's information and images to a colleague that he has at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, MN. (there are other Mayo clinics in AZ and FL but the one in MN specializes more in pediatric cardiology than the other ones) He said it occurred to him that this colleague might have some perspective that could be helpful. This other doctor has apparently written a large number of articles or has done studies on cardiac fibroma's, which is the type of tumor that Nick has. So we are praying that some more insight on what to do will come about.

So much to do, so little time!

It's so hard to keep up on all the stuff I want to!

We haven't had any serious problems with Nick since we came home. (That we know of.) Andrew has been taking a while to get over a bad cough, but I think I see the end of it coming. Thankfully! As a side note, may I recommend the cough suppressant Delsym to anyone who has children!
Paul also has been sick -- to his stomach a couple of times this week- randomly. In fact I kind of think it's nerves. He internalizes so much and is such a deep thinker. He's really concerned about "What if we move?". And all the stuff with Nick too probably. I think he gives himself reflux. We're always trying to reassure him that everything is OK, but I think that he's just a worrier.

Josh set up a myspace page for himself to let people hear his music. The link is : http://www.myspace.com/uncommonsensetheband It's a work in progress, but for only being up about 3 days he has TONS of views and plays. If you have the time you should take a listen. And remember this stuff is 'demo-done'-- when he gets a record deal it will be even better!

I have taken a step back from working at Broulims. Josh and I decided that it would be in our family's best interest if I stayed home more. And work is getting busier for Josh, so that will help. I'm really excited to be back at home more. In my heart of hearts this is where I know I should be and want to be. Of course, different times in life call for different steps, and if we feel that I should go back to work to help Josh when he's back in school, then we'll do what is necessary. For the meantime though, the kids are thrilled and I am too.

We've had a lot of interest in our home, but no offers yet. We haven't had any negative feedback though either, so that's good. The right family just hasn't come around yet. If there is anything that we know (but seem to always be reminded of) is that EVERYTHING is on the Lord's time. When it is right it will happen.

That sums up the most recent happenings here. We are still just SO GLAD to be home. I feel like Dorothy in 'The Wizard of OZ'-- all I want to do is say over and over "There's no place like home, there's no place like home!"

Love y'all!

On the Brighter Side

Nick is doing pretty well. We think. He hasn't complained of any problems, and so far we haven't seen anything too different. We expect he's still having stuff happen, but at least it isn't slowing him down.
I wanted to write down a couple of bright spots from this past week that I will want to remember later on, so...
Paul learned to tie his own shoes this week-- Thanks to Grandma Cathy! He is so pleased with himself. I love to see him feel confident and watch his self-esteem grow. He also is working on jump roping. And he is excited to learn that he will be getting some big bucks from the Tooth Fairy again because the dentist has just informed him that we need to pull 4 bottom teeth to make room for those bigger teeth that are on their way in. It's been a big week for Paul too!
Nick is picking up on Paul's enthusiasm for spelling. The two of them constantly go around the house spelling any words they know and asking me how to spell things. Pretty soon I'm gonna throw a big word at them like pumpernickel or supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. LOL
I have to share this funny story of something Nick did while at the hospital. On Easter Sunday we were walking to visit another congenital heart defect (CHD) child patient when Nick's male nurse asked if he was going to visit his girlfriend. Nick said no, that he doesn't have a girlfriend. The nurse said "Oh, are girls gross?" and Nick said; "No..... girls aren't gross, ..... poop is gross. We don't eat poop."
I was stunned at first and then had to just laugh. Yes it's true. We have actually had to have that conversation. Poop is gross. And we don't eat it. Or paint with it. Or play with it. ETC. We were like:"Nice, Nick. Lets go for that walk."
Andrew is talking more and more and in really good sentences. And he is doing a lot of comparing. At Mom's last week he told her all the time things like: "We have a phone at my house," and "I have a sandwich at my house." Etc. He is learning so many new things each day, and is ever increasing his copycat abilities. Today Josh told me something exasperating (I can't remember now what it was) but I exclaimed "My heck." and in a tiny little echo not 2 seconds later Andrew said in the same tone "My heck." We both started to laugh. Nothing like a 2 year old for instant replays.
It's fun to watch them grow. It's also fun to be able to involve everyone in an activity.
We're still exhausted, but it is SO GOOD to be home. I just want to sit in my own little cozy hollow and ignore reality and life for a while, basking in the sunshine of my life-- my little family.

Home

After 8 days at PCMC we are finally home. They released Nick yesterday from the hospital. There's just not much that they can do for him there. They approached the idea of a heart transplant (again) but we still don't want to do that, so that's out. They are also thinking about another possible surgery, but they need to talk with Nick's regular cardiologist, Dr. Cowley, first and get his input and he is un-reachable for about another week.
Nick seems fine for the most part. Surprisingly fine for what his heart is doing. He is still having low ventricular tachycardia and bradycardia and arrhythmia's, however, we think that this new medicine has slowed the V-tach enough to cause him to NOT receive shocks from his ICD. We think.
What this means is that Nick will continue to have these strains on his heart from the crazy beating, but hopefully will not get as many shocks. Our unknown is WHICH IS BETTER? We're concerned that the irregular beating will wear on his heart a lot - and we're not sure how damaging that will be, but we are also very concerned about him continuing to receive shocks while he is conscious because it is traumatizing and we don't want him to have psychological problems due to this. (Like being afraid to ever do anything because he might get a shock). It's a tough call.
Everyone is kind of at a loss as to what to do.
We are so LUCKY that he is doing so well. Repeatedly the nurses would hurry in to the room while watching his monitors and ask him how he was feeling and if he was OK, and 98% he was cool as a cucumber and doing really well. A couple of times he felt sick to his stomach (probably due to the heart rate), but for the majority of the time he was good.

The Lord is good to us. And for now, we will continue to just take things a day at a time.